Sentimental Value

Much more rewarding on a rewatch, even if it still floored me on my initial watch.

There’s a small moment in the film from Agnes’s husband that really stood out to me this time. He’s recounting to Agnes and Nora how earlier in the week his son stopped what he was doing to look at him and say, “I see you”. Everyone is stunned by the emotional maturity of the young child & they begin to speculate where he possibly could have learned it from.

While it’s a small moment, it is one that puts on full display the themes of the film. What gets passed from one generation to the next? How does each generation co-exist and interact with one another while they are processing their own grief?

On the surface, Gustav is obviously an asshole. But the more you peel back the layers of his life, you start to understand his pain a bit more. Trauma and grief is a vicious cycle. Gustav’s mom experienced unspeakable horror which messed her up so much that she ended up inflicting pain on the next generation (Gustav). Gustav was so messed up by what he experienced as a young child that he ended up inflicting pain on the next generation (Nora and Agnes).

Even though Gustav has major flaws, he is still emotionally more healthy than the generation before him. He’s actually there to try and correct his wrong, which is something he never got as a young man growing up in the world. Does he do it in a great way? Of course not. He’s an incredibly flawed person, but he’s trying. He at least can recognize the pain that his daughters are dealing with because it is not unlike the pain he experienced & still experiences to this day. In his mind, he’s giving his daughters more than he ever got, even if it’s not perfect.

Where things get interesting is when you start to look at things through the lens of Nora. For her, the pain that she experienced from Gustav is something that she will never forget & maybe never fully get over. So how do you hold that truth in one hand yet also deal with the inflictor of that pain trying to insert themselves back into your life? The answer is that it can be messy. Lots of ups and downs. You have to lean on those you can fully trust while doing your best to mend what you can. But I think one of the most beautiful parts of the film’s conclusion is that “mending” doesn’t always look like some big speech where all is forgiven. Mending simply means acknowledging one another’s pain and finding a way to co-exist in the moments you are together.

The pain of previous generations and current generations is inextricably linked, whether you want to acknowledge it or not. Trier does a tremendous job bring that delicate idea to life.

The same way Agnes and her husband are shocked by the emotional maturity of their son is probably no different than the way that Gustav is impressed with the emotional maturity of Agnes. Which is probably no different than the way that Gustav’s mom would be impressed with his emotional maturity.

Each generation that comes along gets more and more emotionally mature. Even though it’s a slow progression, it’s progression. And Trier masterfully spends a small moment reminding us how it’s going in the next generation. It’s a glimmer of hope and promise. No matter how bad it has been or is, there is always hope for the future.

Such a special movie!